Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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