girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
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We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
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He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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