I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
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Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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