Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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