Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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