You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
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And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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