idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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