Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize