Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
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