SEEEEXXX PLEASE
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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