Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize