Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize