He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize