just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It's blow job season.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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