I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I look excited, but its just a facade.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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