We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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