She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize