***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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