I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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