New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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