It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize