I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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