I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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