oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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