I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
she woke up with a sticky ear
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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