At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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