So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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