It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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