You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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