I heard we made out
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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