I just cut my nipple shaving
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize