My liver just broke up with me...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize