Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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