If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize