I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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