she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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