apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
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I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
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It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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