Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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