Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Did I show you my penis last night?
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
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This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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