I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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