My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
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I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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