I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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