Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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