I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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