Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize