their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
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i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
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Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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