I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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