dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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