Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
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I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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