And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
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My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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